So yesterday I had my annual appointment. Nothing terribly exciting... unless you count sitting in the waiting room from 11:45am (my appt. was at noon) until 1:55pm... and then being the last person they call back for the day only to spend less than 15 minutes in the actual exam room (including exam time). Yeah, that was pretty unrighteous.
At any rate... when she (Libby) was doing my pap, she said that I seemed to have quite a bit of fertile CM (cervical mucous). So she said that was a good thing since ovulation usually occurs around that time... and that fertilization needs good quality CM to happen.
But I don't know... I'm not so sure about this whole ovulation thing now. I'm still only testing "high" on the CBEFM... and my OPK's were starting to get darker a couple of days ago... but now are practically as negative as they are before I even dip them in the pee. I'm wondering if I haven't already ovulated...? And maybe just missed it...? The monitor gave me a peak reading last month... but I sorta kinda screwed up what it thought it knew about me by adding Clomid to the mix this month... so we might be back to square one with it having to figure out my cycle all over again. The first month I got a bunch of highs with no peak, too.
I don't know. I know it's still early in the cycle... only CD 17 today. And I know a lot of people ovulate later than that while on Clomid. So I know it's still a good possibility so long as we stick to the every other day thing. But it's just frustrating and confusing trying to figure this all out and make some sense of it.
I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a little red-headed baby we named Alba. It was all so perfect. And she felt perfect in my arms. And smelled perfect. The entire dream just felt right... even though we hadn't told anyone we were pregnant yet and it was going to be a huge shocker to the entire family. But the "rightness" of how it felt has left me feeling a bit empty today when I woke up to find it was only a dream.
*le sigh*
Anyways. Off to a Baby Expo today... hoping to find lots of freebies to cheer me up. :)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
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