A low day.

CD 12. No sign of ovulating anytime soon. The monitor is trucking along with only low readings so far. Today was test stick day #7. No CM really, either. I think this will take awhile this month. I just hope it's not a really long cycle like I've been known to have (ie: more than 40 days long...).

I'm feeling very low at the moment emotionally, too. Everyone's pregnant or getting pregnant. I work in a pharmacy... and every single day I'm there, I see at least 1 or 6 pregnant women. One regular customer even came in last week to announce she's pregnant... only so she'd get her medical card back. And... to make it worse... "it didn't take that long at all!" I wanted to sneek off to slice my wrists in the bathroom. (Not seriously... but you get the picture.)

I just feel so empty. I see all those swollen pregnant bellies... and feel so lonely. I look down at my flat (empty) belly... and feel tears swell in my eyes. At night I hold my belly and feel an ache in my heart. I miss the baby I never got to know... and I long to feel another baby move in my belly.

I'm trying to remain strong... but it's getting so hard. When will it be my turn (for real)...?